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Diff’rent strokes

They see me rollin'...  They hatin'...

They see me rollin’… They hatin’…

There’s no accounting for taste, as the old saying goes.

And this PT Cruiser, a borderline vehicle at the best of times, proves it.

I’m not about to perform a full inventory of the trinkets adorning this horror show of a vehicle (your eyes are already bleeding), but a couple of things must be pointed out here.

First off, isn’t it damned odd that the wheels and tailpipe are completely stock? After all, those are usually among the first items to be bastardized by this kind of offender.

Secondly, why go to the trouble of tarting up your vehicle to this degree if you’re not going to address the growing rust problem? I have to assume that even the mind who thought these add-ons were tasteful must know rust kills sex appeal (if the car has any to begin with).

Clearly, the psychology of this individual was complex and oblique. I didn’t come any closer.

"You there! Stop that. Just stop it."

“You there! Stop that. Just stop it.”

One last thing:

It’s great to see the phenomenon that breeds eyesores like this declining as each year passes. The high-water mark for spoilers/painted hubcaps came in the very early 2000’s (an era I call Peak Tacky) and slowly faded thereafter. Good riddance.

For some reason, in the past five years or so, the ‘Buick ventiports on everything’ craze really took off – hopefully that fad will go the way of Plymouth before long.

Shooting star

1965 Meteor Montcalm and 1966 Rambler American (Hull Sector, Gatineau, Quebec).

1965 Meteor Montcalm and 1966 Rambler American (Hull Sector, Gatineau, Quebec).

Isn’t this picture a perfect, quintessential Quebec winter scene?

If you’re not sure, probably because you’ve never been there, just know that yes – yes, it is.

Grey, leaden skies, drab streetscapes, and crater-filled roads encrusted with a white rhime of road salt. Oh yes,  and a frigid, icy wind that cuts through you like a knife from early November onward.

Come one, come all.

Against this ultra-Canadian backdrop – worthy of a depressing film nominated for multiple awards – we find a distinctly Canadian classic car cuddling up to a (literal) American classic, possibly for warmth.

A rare encounter at the best of times, the frozen stars aligned enough to bring this 1965 Meteor Montcalm within door denting distance from a 1966 Rambler American. Amazingly, both vehicles appeared in great shape, though the Rambler was the only one to escape present-day modifications (though I suppose rims and window tinting is benign enough).

The complicated history of Rambler was covered by moi not long ago on this very page (scroll down! scroll down!), so the Meteor gets the spotlight in this post.

Now, an American viewing this photo would insist we were looking at a ’65 Mercury, but they would be wrong. The devil is in the details.

Meteor, a Canada-only product of the Ford Motor Company introduced in 1949, did what the much-maligned Edsel failed to do a decade later – it fit comfortably into the Ford-Lincoln-Mercury stable as a standalone make.

Not factory rims.

Not factory rims.

Slotted between Ford and Mercury at the lower end of the ladder, the Meteor was essentially a Ford with more brightwork and niceties, but at a lower price than Mercury.

Canadians took to the Meteor instantly, and the make soared through the ’50s, enjoying lofty sales as the Greatest Generation was busy cranking out the Boomers while staring into a glorious, limitless future.

Coincidentally, it was the success of Rambler in the late 1950s (spurred by the sharp ’58 recession) that led to the first death of Meteor following the 1961 model year. The popularity of Rambler’s cosy, fuel-efficient compacts prompted the Big 3 automakers to enter the compact field in 1960, spreading the big car field too thin at Ford of Canada.

Something had to give, and Meteor was canned – but not for long.

Like most fads, the compact craze proved short-lived as the economy returned to normal and a thirst for big cars returned to the car-buying public. Meteor was back for 1964, this time based on a Mercury.

Mercurys of that era – especially the ’65 – had an upscale appearance thanks to their Lincolnesque, slab-sided bodies, something that gave the Meteor an injection of class.

1965 Meteor Montcalm: more than a Mercury?

1965 Meteor Montcalm: more than a Mercury?

To keep the price in line with its place in the company’s lineup, the Mercury-bodied Meteor was outfitted with the seats, dashboard, base engine, and roofline of a Ford.

Flashy on the outside and restrained on the inside, the ’65 Meteor came in the same body styles offered by its stablemates, in either the Rideau, Rideau 500 or top-line Montcalm trim level. From a vinyl bench and a 240 c.i.d. six-cylinder to plush buckets and a 390 V-8, if you had the cash (or didn’t), there was a Meteor with your name on it.

Meteor soldiered on in the Canadian market well into the 1970s, as before, based on the Mercury line of vehicles.

Towards the end, the line between the two makes grew increasingly blurred, as Mercury badging could be found on a Meteor, in addition to Rideau 500 and Montcalm model designations.

1976 proved to be the last year for the standalone Meteor brand. However, in keeping with the make’s original intent, the name survived until 1981 on a low-priced base model of the Mercury Marquis offered exclusively in Canada.

The Meteor’s rise in the Canadian automotive scene was truly meteoric, but its fall back to earth was much more gradual. Kind of like a golden Muskoka sunset fading to dusk, slipping into twilight, and then… nothing.

1978 Mercury Marquis Meteor - a low cost Mercury full-sizer offered only in Canada (note fake vinyl roof crease).

1978 Mercury Marquis Meteor – a low cost Mercury full-sizer offered only in Canada (note fake vinyl roof crease).

Big… juicy… VAN… !

"Interesting trades considered."

“Interesting trades considered.”

I’m not one of ‘those guys’, but I know a bitchin’ van when I see one.

And this particular van in Val-des-Bois, Quebec HAD IT ALL!

Sure, this 1980s-vintage Econoline dates to after the ‘Van Culture’ phase that America went through in the always-entertaining ’70s ( an era that terrified parents but made it easy to move stuff around). However, the owner clearly knew where to draw the line.

Driving right up to the edge of cheesiness before making a panic stop, this van has all the trappings of a performance car PLUS all the add-ons that drive Van People wild.

Sun visor (for the harsh glare of the open road), TWO bubble sunroofs (for ambiance as well as smoke venting), side pipes, mag wheels, white-letter tires and glorious chrome aplenty – truly, a van that covers the bases while doing everything right. And let’s not forget the tasteful pinstripe depiction of a lady on the side panel.

I didn’t get close enough to this rolling sideburn to take a peek inside, but I would hope that it ditched the stereotypical shag carpeting/velour interior for something classy – like vinyl (and wood grain veneer).

Yeah.

If this beast ever finds its way onto the market, I’ll be sure to put in an offer they can’t refuse.

“Is this thing bent?”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRSd_ko9HG4

 

Running mate

1961 (AMC) Rambler Classic, spotted in Gatineau (Hull sector) Quebec.

1961 (AMC) Rambler Classic, spotted in Gatineau (Hull sector) Quebec.

Sometimes, the underdog wins, if only for a brief, shining moment.

That was the situation at American Motors at the dawn of the tumultuous 1960s.

The years 1958 to 1961 don’t take up much space in history books (unless you’re focusing on the Space Race), as there existed relatively little conflict in a world now used to global battles. The Baby Boom was in full swing, the Camelot years of the JFK presidency was poised to begin, and hippies, women’s lib, and the incendiary final years of the civil rights struggle were still years away.

Only the pesky matter of The Bomb kept people up at night, though a solution (Diazepam, aka Valium) was imminent.

In the auto industry, however, things weren’t so Leave It To Beaver placid. Competition was fierce between the Big Three automakers, and by the late ’50s the smaller companies had either thrown in the towel or were struggling to stay afloat.

After a merger with Studebaker, Packard’s last year was 1958 (and what a grotesque thing it had become by then). Studebaker brainstormed to find a way to overcome the massive financial hit it took following the merger a few years earlier, and managed to pull off a modest recovery that lasted until the mid-60s.

Nash and Hudson, whose best years were marked in the ’30s and ’40s, ceased to exist after 1957, the result of a mighty 1954 merger between Nash-Kelvinator and Hudson Motor Car Company – at the time, the largest in history. That merger saw the birth of a new automotive entity – American Motors Corporation (AMC).

Leading the new company was president and CEO George W. Romney, a former VP at Nash-Kelvinator who took on the top role after the death of George W. Mason a few months after the merger. Romney (father of 2012 Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney) had the old makes soldier on in an increasingly competitive marketplace while planning a new strategy for success (or at least survival).

Official portrait of George W. Romney, taken while he was U.S. Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. (Public domain image)

Official portrait of George W. Romney, taken while he was U.S. Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. (Public domain image)

Luckily for the company, Romney had brought binders full of ideas to his new role, and quickly decided that in order to compete with the Big Three, AMC had to offer something the big guys weren’t. That meant compacts.

Romney viewed the competition’s offerings as “gas-guzzling dinosaurs”, ripe for slaying, and set out to do just that.

With the remaining Nash and Hudson models killed off at the end of 1957, AMC poised its new lineup for a 1958 debut, led by the compact Rambler brand – a make AMC had poured all of its efforts into.

Engine size, vehicle size, tailfin height and sticker prices were all reaching for the stars in the late ’50s, but luck was in AMC’s corner.

As 1958 dawned on the gaudiest, most excessive and expensive vehicles Americans had ever seen (especially those offered by Buick, Cadillac and Lincoln), a sudden, sharp recession – by far the worst of the post-war boom – hit the United States. Consumer prices rose across the board and vehicle sales dropped 31% industry-wide.

The only American car company to turn a profit that year? American Motors.

Helped by favourable reviews that emphasized the Rambler’s price and fuel economy, as well as a widespread television and product placement marketing campaign (which included Disney!) orchestrated by Romney himself, Rambler – and AMC – was off to a roaring start.

With the success of the Rambler American and Rambler Classic line of vehicles, the traditional big players in the industry soon took notice and immediately began designing their own small cars, which were introduced in the early ’60s.

In 1960 and 1961, Rambler ranked third in domestic auto sales, with the latter year seeing the company enter into the industry’s first profit-sharing plan for its United Auto Workers-represented employees. Innovations followed that were later picked up by the Big Three, including standard reclining front bucket seats, optional front disc brakes, and the ‘PRND21’ automatic transmission sequence.

Research work was even done in support of a fully-electric car powered by a self-charging battery, though that effort clearly went nowhere.

The company took a shift away from the ‘think small’ strategy in 1962, after Romney resigned in order to run (successfully) for Governor of Michigan, where he grew the civil service and imposed the first income tax in the state’s history. Later, he went on to serve as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development under President Nixon, where his ideas – including ambitious social housing and de-segregation proposals – fell mostly on deaf ears.

For an interesting look at Romney’s policies (contrasted with those of his son), enjoy this somewhat long article in a liberal-perspective magazine:

http://prospect.org/article/cost-living-apart

(Romney was also a strong civil rights supporter who expanded state social programs and championed anti-discrimination laws. For more on that… http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/08/how-george-romney-championed-civil-rights-and-challenged-his-church/261073/)

 

Trouble at the ranch

Anyhoo, back at the AMC camp, Romney’s departure meant there was a new captain at the helm – Roy Abernathy – who shifted the company towards a more diverse lineup. This meant a newfound focus on large cars, with the thinking that people weaned on Rambler’s compacts would one day want to move up to something bigger.

This strategy didn’t pan out and Rambler floundered in the marketplace, with overall sales slashed in half by 1967. Bleeding money at an alarming rate, AMC’s end looked near until new CEO Roy D. Chapin, Jr. arrived with famed designer Dick Teague in tow.

Chapin brought on a new executive, cut costs where possible, and made the compact Rambler American the company’s short-term focus, chopping down the sticker price to lure in buyers. In the background, Teague and his fellow designers worked to create new, youth-oriented vehicles from existing parts and vehicle stampings.

Once again, all of this work was backed up by aggressive advertising.

The intermediate-sized Rambler Classic, introduced on an existing chassis in 1961, was renamed the Rambler Rebel in 1967, before the Rambler name was dropped in favour of AMC badging in 1968.

This '61 Rambler ad shows sensible people enjoying a sensible car.

This ’61 Rambler ad shows sensible people enjoying a sensible car.

The Classic had long been the bread and butter of the Rambler lineup, first offered with a 195 cubic inch straight-six or 250 cubic inch V-8.  Covering three trim levels and multiple body styles, the Classic’s engine choice was fleshed out to three sixes and two larger V-8s as the ’60s progressed.

The renaming of both Rambler and the Classic had the goal of shaking up the brand’s image and moving buyer’s minds away from negative connotations of the recent past.

Under the new strategy, AMC entered the 1970s in good shape and with lots of buzz, purchasing Jeep’s vehicle operation in 1970 before things started to get really weird (Pacer, Gremlin, Matador coupe) in the mid-to-late ’70s. Obviously, at some point the company’s water supply had become tainted with hallucinogens.

After introducing the renowned and innovative AMC Eagle 4-wheel-drive wagon in 1979, the company entered into an ill-fated partnership with Renault in 1980, and immediately began a fast slide into oblivion. Renault left the American market in 1987, dropping its majority stake in AMC, at which point Chrysler Corporation purchased those remaining shares.

The formerly AMC-owned Jeep was folded into the Chrysler stable, while Renault-designed AMC products that had been in the works were marketed under a new brand, Eagle, starting in 1988. Eagle soon became just another make selling badge-engineered Chrysler products, like Plymouth and Dodge, though with some sporting pretentions in the form of the Talon coupe.

Eagle was unceremoniously dropped in 1999.

And so ended the rocky, confusing lineage of American Motors – the quirky car company that was once part of a refrigerator company and was once run by Mitt Romney’s unusually progressive yet devoutly Mormon/Republican dad.

If this tale has taught us anything, it’s to not go all-in on identity politics, and to be very wary of mergers.

Load me up

Now with bacon, cheese, and a slice of tomato!

Now with bacon, cheese, and a slice of tomato!

Earlier today, I found myself driving past a Nissan dealership’s overflow lot and was suddenly seized by a strange compulsion.

Pulling over,  I hopped out to take an impromptu stock of their inventory.

Nissan’s been going great guns lately, aggressively taking to the airwaves in an attempt to boost its sales and market share. The spring introduction of the tiny, bargain-priced Micra into the Canadian car market was a gamble that seems to be paying off, with early sales figures showing much interest from the car-buying public.

I could easily see Canada being a test case for an eventual entry into the lucrative U.S. market, which Nissan seems to be counting on to get that bigger slice of the pie. Nissan’s second-quarter 2014 revenues were up a very substantial 37% from the same period a year before, driven by surging North American sales. Total sales were up 10.4% during the second quarter, despite stagnating demand in Nissan’s home country of Japan.

Nissan brass seem optimistic about the company’s fortunes in the foreseeable future, as well.

(Read more dollars and cents talk here: http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/d531613e-163f-11e4-93ec-00144feabdc0.html#axzz38osoWV3I)

Now, back to my sleuthing.

Noticing a good number of Micras in the overflow lot, I was curious to record the ratio of trim levels for little hatch, which starts at a tantalizing advertised price of $9,998 for a stripped-down ‘S’ model. Overflow lots are generally filled with dealers’ best guesses as to what will be big sellers, so there is some unscientific value in taking stock of their stock.

Early reviews of the Micra noted that Nissan didn’t expect to sell tons of the base model, given that young people are now used to creature comforts like air conditioning and power windows, but having that four-figure starting price was invaluable as an attention-grabbing marketing tool.

(More on that here: https://driventoattraction.com/?p=287)

The Micras on the lot took that assertion and ran with it – in fact, there wasn’t a single real base model on the lot. Not one Micra, despite many being the ‘S’ model, stickered for less than the neighbourhood of $14,000, with the many ‘SR’ models going in the $16,000 + range.

Room at the top: the mighty Nissan Micra RS.

Room at the top: the mighty Nissan Micra RS.

The reason? All the base models came with a creature comforts package that added automatic transmission, air and power goodies. That optional factory equipment adds $3,435 to the base price, which, when coupled with freight and PDI (and an almost unavoidable extra-cost metallic paint), brought the cost to $14,833.

Not stratospheric by any means, but still a nearly 50% increase over the much-touted entry price. However, if your jar of rainy day pennies doesn’t runneth over, I’m sure a dealer would be happy to order a stripped ‘S’ for your motoring pleasure.

With 109-horsepower on tap for a light, nimble little car, you’d think Nissan would have offered an upgrade package that omitted the automatic transmission, thus allowing drivers to maximize their car’s sportiness while still enjoying comfort and convenience (and saving a possible $1,500 or so).

Now that the car’s success in Canada seems a sure thing, perhaps Nissan will loosen up and increase the range of options and trim packages for the coming model year. I think it would serve to make an already appealing subcompact even more worthy of consideration.

 

“At the tone, leave your name and message…”

The Rockford Files, starring the late James Garner, ran from 1974 to 1980, causing much Firebird and beach trailer envy.

The Rockford Files, starring the late James Garner, ran from 1974 to 1980, causing much Firebird and beach trailer envy.

Rest in peace, Jimbo.

The world lost a great actor and – by all accounts – a hell of a good guy on July 14, as screen legend James Garner passed away at age 86.

Growing up, I thought Garner’s Jim Rockford character in  The Rockford Files (1974-80) was just the coolest guy ever. I mean, he lived in a trailer on the beach, tussled with bad guys on a weekly basis, knew how to rock a polyester sport coat and slacks, and tooled around in a gold Firebird.

The perfect life! (minus the scrapes and bruising)

Oh yeah, and the theme song rocked…. but back to that Firebird for a minute:

Jim Rockford drove a Pontiac Firebird Esprit for the duration of the show, always in the same  distinctive gold (Denver Poly Gold) that mingled well with the various brown and beige polyesters and vinyls of the era – the Landau Era.

I’ve always had a thing for the curvaceous 2nd generation Firebird/Camaro twins – one could spend many happy minutes just staring at that wraparound rear window and low-slung body. And, while Burt Reynolds made the Firebird Formula and Trans Ams a hot (and cheesy) commodity in the late 70s, I have to applaud Garner’s choice of the Esprit model for his low-rent private eye character, as it provided some flash and class to go with the car’s respectable dash.

Jim Rockford races to the rescue (or the bar) in his trusty Pontiac Firebird Esprit.

Jim Rockford races to the rescue (or the bar) in his trusty Pontiac Firebird Esprit.

A guy like Rockford liked the appearance of luxury and of getting the most out of his hard-earned paycheque, so the Esprit seemed like a natural fit for him. A decent (not base) engine, upgraded interior trim, and a five-spoke sport rim/low-profile whitewall combination was a good compromise for a guy who couldn’t snare maid service for his trailer home/office.

The Esprit engine for the first chunk of the decade was the revered small-block 350 Chevy V-8. Starting in 1977, however, the trustworthy-but-unglamorous Buick 231 V-6 became the standard engine in base models as well as the Esprit.

Never fear – higher-output engines were just a tick of the option box away.

The series ran until 1980, but TV viewers will notice that that final makeover of the 2nd-generation Firebirds – the 1979-1981 model – never made it into Rockford’s sand driveway. There’s a simple reason why the show’s producers capped it at the ’78 model year – car aficionado Garner didn’t dig the front ends on those later rides, and likely didn’t approve of the performance either (the Pontiac 265 and 301-cubic inch V-8’s are rarely spoken of in rapturous tones).

And so, a ’78 model carried the show and its protagonist till the dawn of the glorious 1980s (the final episode aired January 10, 1980). Had the series stayed on, Rockford might have been forced to chase/escape baddies in an Iron Duke-powered 3rd generation Firebird (not a sexy or successful-sounding prospect).

The Final Facelift. James Garner wasn't too enamored by the front end treatment given to the 1979-81 Firebirds. (image: Bull-Doser, Wikimedia Commons)

The Final Facelift. James Garner wasn’t too enamored by the front end treatment given to the 1979-81 Firebirds. (image: Bull-Doser, Wikimedia Commons)

The Rockford Firebird is now something of a cultural icon, which goes to show the impact the popular series had on the collective American psyche. Here’s an interesting link that details one man’s quest to make himself a Rockford Firebird, thus (hopefully) cementing his image as the king of affable, laid-back cool.

http://toddsclassiccars.com/rockford.php

Farewell, Mr. Garner. After 86 years of acting, driving, campaigning for civil rights, and being a hero to many kids like myself, you can rest assured knowing your legacy is a good one.

What’s old is new again…

1979 or 1980 R-body Chrysler New Yorker, spotted in Gatineau, Quebec.

1979 or 1980 R-body Chrysler New Yorker, spotted in Gatineau, Quebec.

1979 was a turbulent year in America.

Gasoline had suddenly became expensive again thanks to the Iranian Revolution, interest rates were rising like mercury in a noonday Texas thermometer (as was inflation), and disco seemed poised to take over the world…and our kids.

On the automotive front, the Big Three automakers were struggling against economic pressures and the sudden appearance of a new competition – fuel-efficient Japanese compacts that tempted buyers with savings at the pump and low starting prices.

Nowhere in Detroit was the financial pressure greater than in the headquarters of Chrysler Corporation, which was desperately trying to avoid bankruptcy following a decade of non-stop punches that shook the industry to its core.

In addition to trying to secure bailout money from the federal government (while wooing eventual savior Lee Iacocca into their top-floor office), Chrysler was trying to compete against new, downsized models from GM (1977) and Ford (1979). And, given its dire situation, it had to create something competitive using little money and mostly off-the shelf parts.

As a rule, the downsized full-sizers introduced in the late-70s needed to appear fresh and new, have as much interior room (or more) than their land-barge predecessors, weight less, while consuming less precious, endangered gasoline.

For Chrysler, that meant the creation of the ‘new’ 1979 R-body line of vehicles – the Chrysler New Yorker and Newport, Dodge St. Regis, and (eventually) Plymouth Fury. The R-bodies have long fascinated me, as they really represent the end of the traditional full-size lineage of Chrysler vehicles – a slapped-together vehicle created in desperation to bridge the gap between the excessive 1970s and the lean, modern 1980s.

As a result of the rapidly changing era – one advanced by Chrysler itself following Iacocca’s appearance – the R-bodies (produced from 1979 to 1981) quickly became rolling dinosaurs, and faded from both roadways and the public consciousness in a hurry.

 

A ’62 dressed up as a ’79

 

The word ‘new’ appears here with quotation marks because the R-platform wasn’t new at all. Rather, Chrysler had simply taken the old B-platform that  underpinned the previous Dodge Monaco and Plymouth Fury (and dated from 1962), and created a new, yet traditionally-styled body atop it, while doing everything possible to shed weight.

The old, big-block 400 and 440-cubic inch engines were put out to pasture, replaced by the venerable 225-cid Slant-Six, as well as the trustworthy 318 and 360-cid V-8s. So extreme was the need for weight loss, Chrysler fielded the ‘new’ line of sedans with stamped aluminum, chrome-plated bumpers, aluminum radiators and brake cylinders with plastic components. The weight loss, totalling several hundred pounds, helped the car’s lineup of aging engines (strangled of horsepower by government-mandated emission controls) haul the lengthy sedans around town.

Once on the market, the R-bodies represented the most traditional of the Big Three’s big sedans. Big on the outside as well as the inside, the Chrysler stablemates could be had with all the baroque trappings a late-70s driver could desire – vinyl top, pillowed velour interior in gaudy colours, and the classic fake wire wheel hupcap/whitewall tire combination. The New Yorker, which was available in top-shelf ‘Fifth Avenue’ trim, continued the hidden-headlamp motif popularized by its predecessors, as well as offerings from Lincoln.

"Do you park your 1979 Chrysler New Yorker here often?" (Chrysler promotional photo)

“Do you park your 1979 Chrysler New Yorker here often?” (Chrysler promotional photo)

Sales of the R-body ‘pillared hardtops’ (ie – no window frames) started off brisk, helped by commercials that searched high and low for fiscal bright spots in an R-body purchase, but soon tanked once the effects of the Iranian Revolution began to impact people’s wallets. 1980 saw an exponential decrease in units sold, and the same for 1981.

Police fleets snapped up the Newport, Fury and St. Regis in fairly large numbers, given their imposing size and sturdy platform, but none were ever regarded as performers. Most pursuit vehicles were bought with a decent 195-horsepower 360 under the hood (for 1979), mated to the ubiquitous and bulletproof 3-speed Torqueflight automatic transmission, though California fleets made do with less (190 horsepower), and Canadian fleets with more (200 hp), thanks to better exhaust systems and boosted engine compression.

In 1980, California’s air pollution regulations mandated that all police R-Bodies come equipped with a 165-horsepower 318, which caused “a monumental firefight” between Dodge and the officers and management of the California Highway Patrol, who complained of embarrassment when the car performed dismally in real-life applications.*

(Apparently, one of the requirements of a police vehicle is the ability to catch fleeing suspects)

By 1981, the jig was up for the R-body. Sales of the big Chryslers were circling the bowl, and the company had already bled so much cash that CEO Iacocca was forced (starting in ’79) to slash all unnecessary overhead in a bid to save the company. Iacocca’s ‘triage’ approach meant that the company’s attention was primarily focused on keeping costs down while it produced and aggressively marketed a revenue-generating vehicle tailored for the economic climate America found itself in.

That vehicular saviour was the K-car line of compact, front-wheel drive vehicles that first appeared as Dodges and Plymouths in 1981 and branched out to the Chrysler brand in 1982. After ’81, with the R-body gone, Chrysler’s full-size spot was filled by the (formerly) intermediate-sized M-body Chrysler New Yorker, Plymouth Gran Fury, and Dodge Diplomat.

The real, honest-to-goodness full-size Chrysler was dead.

 

Adios, big guy…

 

Today, 33 years after the last R-bodies rolled unceremoniously off Chrysler’s embattled Detroit assembly line, seeing one in the flesh is a rare occurrence. The 1979 or 1980 New Yorker pictured at the top of the post was such an uncommon sight, it needed to be documented. These cars do look better in black, though this example is suffering from sagging lower body trim, missing front bumper guards, and an absent wheel cover.

However, under the hood there likely lies a 318 that can be nursed back to life without too much trouble, if it isn’t already serviceable.

Hopefully, the owner of the New Yorker will ensure this relic of a largely-ignored chapter in American automotive history stays alive, and on the road.

1979 Chrysler Newport, the less-flashy brother of the New Yorker. (Image: Bull-Doser, Wikimedia Commons)

1979 Chrysler Newport, the less-flashy brother of the New Yorker. (Image: Bull-Doser, Wikimedia Commons)

*(http://www.allpar.com/cars/dodge/R-bodies.html)

 

Status update

"Do you mind not parking your Cobalt so close? I'm kind of a big deal."

“Do you mind not parking your Cobalt so close? I’m kind of a big deal.”

No one ever says, “Hey, jerk – you scratched my Kia Rondo!”

There’s a reason for this, something understood by pretty much everybody.

That is: it isn’t worth mentioning the specific make and model of your ride if it isn’t something special. Something prestigious.

Now, by association, that swanky ride makes the driver something special as well. But beware – with status comes stigma, meaning to some people, the arrival of your hood ornament heralds the appearance of a Grade A prick.

Sure, this isn’t really fair – and the rationale behind it is fallible at best – but our human nature insists that different makes and models of vehicle MUST imply a specific kind of driver lifestyle and mentality. In a world driven by emotion and identity politics, we’re all guilty of this to some degree.

I realized the lasting power of these thoughts the other night while on a Quebec highway. Humming along in the slow lane, I watched a 1980s-vintage Porche 911 Targa blast past. A nice ride on a summer night, for sure, but all I could picture was old money, tennis whites, and the jerk son of a local bigwig.

Have I ever met anyone like that? Nope, but I saw a hell of a lot of them on TV over the years.

Porsche 911... or is it 90210? (photo: Bull-Doser, Wikimedia Commons)

Porsche 911… or is it 90210? (photo: Bull-Doser, Wikimedia Commons)

Recently I was reading a news story out loud to colleagues. It concerned some bad judgement by a BMW driver, and was (of course) accompanied by a video of the incident, which involved the police and quite a bit of destruction.

After taking a peek at my monitor, a co-worker said he’s noticed that BMW’s are only mentioned in a news headline if the owner of that Bimmer is somehow being a jerk. With no evidence to back this up other than my hazy memory, this seemed to ring true.

Is the BMW brand being pigeonholed and stigmatized – even by the media? Are all BMW drivers – even those who don’t act naughty in public – being ‘vehicle-shamed’? Are we jealous of what they’ve attained, or is it something else? Am I a social scientist holding a fistful of studies?

Well, I know the answer to the last question.

Even former Chrysler chairman and all-around automotive guru Lee Iacocca can be heard going down this road in the following clip, where he describes (to the world’s media) BMW and Mercedez-Benz as “boutique cars…bought for snob appeal.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWkKtGFZhIM

True, I’ve seem some drivers behind the wheel of a 3-series that needed a slap upside the head, but the same is true for Honda Civics and a laundry list of other vehicles.

I will say this, though. I can’t recall seeing half as many Mercedes-Benz’s driven in a manner worthy of a one-finger salute as those wearing the blue-and-white propeller. Maybe Benz has a more reserved clientele. Maybe the brand’s offerings don’t appeal to the drive-it-like-you-stole-it crowd (“Hoon that diesel E-class, man!”).

Whatever the reason, I will make a valiant attempt to ignore my unscientific findings, suppress my knee-jerk emotions, and go forward in life harbouring no stereotypes – or ill will – towards other drivers.

Let’s see if old habits die hard.

 

Carefree highway

"Check it out - we're nearly hitting 12 miles per gallon!"

“Check it out – we’re nearly hitting 12 miles per gallon!”

Who’d like to trade places with the driver of this 1972 Mercury Marquis and ply the rural highways of Prince Edward County, Ontario?

Anyone?

Given the ample evidence of my land yacht fetish splashed across this blog, it’s clear I’d risk my life trying.

Think of it: V-8 engine purring, windows down to let in the warm, fragrant breezes of a late June evening, maybe some classic rock on the radio.

Heaven… (if you can ignore the economic realities of a thirsty 429-cubic inch V-8 hauling a 4,500-pound car and $1.41/litre at the local gas pump)

Just for kicks, take this scene and run wild with the possibilities.

Young lovers filled with passion and ambition but barely a buck’s worth of change in their pockets? An elderly man reunited with his long-lost granddaughter after making amends with his estranged son?

You decide who inhabits this classic Merc. And may that carefree highway always be with you.

*Cue music montage*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewhM7I9gD4U

 

Retronaut

"Are you from the past?"

“Are you from the past?”

It’s hard to figure out how to respond to a sight like this.

A sight, I might add, that didn’t get better the closer I got to it.

Regardless of whether you love it or hate it, this driver clearly wasn’t going to be stopped from getting the most attention out of his retro-styled compact wagon.

Chevrolet HHRs (or as all the kids call them, Heritage High Roofs) were sold between 2005 and 2011. Based on the Cobalt, the HHR was a fairly competent vehicle powered (mainly) by the durable 2.2 and 2.4-litre Ecotec engines, mated to a 4-speed automatic or 5-speed manual.

A rare SS model came with a turbocharged 2.0-litre making 260 horsepower, which promised really fast trips to the grocery store. I have to think this would be something of a find for a certain niche of collector.

Overall, I’d argue the HHR pulled off the retro wagon look better than the oddly-shaped Chrysler PT Cruiser. THIS, however, doesn’t count as part of the package.

With skull-and-crossbones faux chrome wheel covers atop painted steel rims, coupled with a do-it-yourself whitewall treatment, this HHR wasn’t busy hauling restraint or taste.

The wide pinstripe is a nice addition, however.