Get high with me

"Let me unfurl that stepladder for you..."

“Let me unfurl that stepladder for you…”

This driver either possesses the world’s smallest manhood or has a deep-seated phobia of being near the ground.

Whatever the psychology behind the motorist, this vehicular abomination deserves to be heaped with scorn wherever it goes. Clearly the most obnoxious, unnecessary vehicle since the Hummer H2, this jackass’ jacked Ford could roll over Corollas at stoplights without trading paint.

Sure, lift kits are fun, but at what point does it just become impractical? I have to imagine that driving this F-250 would like wearing platform shoes with 12 storeys of goldfish in the heel.

Parking garages? Off limits.

Overhanging tree branches? A serious concern.

Spitting rocks into the windshields of nearby motorists? A near certainty.

Risk of injury while boarding/exiting the vehicle? High.

Rumours of overcompensation? Unavoidable.

Ability to blend in/hide from cops? Impossible.

Maybe I’m being uncharitable, though. This visitor (student?) to the University of Western Ontario might have no choice but to traverse water four feet deep in order to pursue a quality post-secondary education.

Roll onwards, you glorious, depraved monster.